For schools
Tips for educators
Teachers and school counselors are in a good position to help a student after a death. Parents and educators can be partners in that child’s well-being at school.
These ideas are not one-size-fits-all. Talk with the family if you have concerns.
If you are a parent
- Tell your child’s teachers about the death. Explain what your child knows and any worries about their behavior or feelings.
- In elementary school, contact your child’s teacher to set up a time to talk. In middle and high school, start with a guidance counselor or homeroom teacher.
- You may also find support in a parent group at Ele’s Place.
If you work in a school
Stay in touch with the family
- Reach out when you learn of a serious illness or death in a student’s family.
- If a student’s behavior or grades change, contact the family and ask what is going on.
- Learn what the child has been told and what the family is willing to have shared. Families have different cultural and spiritual views on death.
- Share what you see in class and agree on how to handle problems.
- Ask the family to keep you updated.
Support the student
- Invite the child to talk, and listen if they do. Include them in a meeting with the family when it fits.
- Keep normal rules and routines. Do not single the child out, but allow some flexibility.
- Allow the child to leave the room when overwhelmed. A visit to the nurse or a call home can help.
- Be aware of lessons or class material that may touch on the loss.
- If the family agrees, let classmates make a card, poem or letter. You may also tell other parents so their children have support.
- Remember that holidays and anniversaries can be hard. Plan how to help the child acknowledge the loss.
- Encourage the family to tell the student’s later teachers.
- Acknowledge all losses in the classroom and school community.
Signs a student may be grieving
A student grieving someone close to them may show:
- Regression to younger behavior
- Changes in grades
- Trouble concentrating
- Withdrawal
- Impulsive or risky behavior
- Sleep problems
- Mood swings
Source for this list: Children’s Grief Education Association, as cited by Ele’s Place.
How Ele’s Place can help schools
- Ele’s Groups: 8-week peer support groups in partnership with school counselors.
- Presentations for teachers, counselors and administrators at school meetings, in-services and workshops.
- Consultation about the needs of a grieving student, group, class or school.
After a suicide in a school community, see After a Suicide: A Toolkit for Schools (PDF, 2022 update).
Offices open Monday–Thursday 9am–5pm, Friday 9am–1pm (Eastern). Voicemails are returned the same or next business day.
Ele’s Place is not a crisis line. If someone is in danger, call 911. If you are thinking about suicide, call or text 988.